Thought I would introduce Nude Trude, an ex-porn star mum. T&W knows this because a)she has a perma-tan b)she wears miniscule bits of clothing to cover her perfectly formed body and c)she carries a chihuahua. Oh, and because she told T&W!
Nude Trude always provides visual entertainment for the dads & grandads at dull PTA events involving quizzes/auctions/fairy cakes and craft stalls where you have to buy plastic bracelets or a bar of soap wrapped in a flannel. Usually dressed in minimal white lycra with some kind of lace effect, she totters around on her 4 inch heels leaving Pretensia looking like she's sucking on lemons! Ha, brilliant thinks T&W! Pretensia & Clotheshorse will have spent hours preparing for each occasion and Nude Trude will have got dressed, shoved some make-up on with a trowel and been out the door in 10 minutes!
T&W imagines headmistress, Virginia introducing potential parents to the school, green eyes blazing, black hair flowing in the wind, "yes, we have a wonderful PTA! One parent is a marine biologist, just look at this beautiful & expensive watercolour of the sea he's donated and one parent is a thoracic surgeon, see this spectacular life-size skeleton given so kindly from his own funds. Yes and Nude Trude, one of our PTA mums holds a very popular pay per view film club for the dads on a saturday evening!"
Everyone loves Nude Trude, although you could see Gifted's face distort when Trude said she had a fondness for animals. Probably just an innocent comment, meaning nothing but Gossiphead had it round the school gates before you could say Animal Farm Meets Air Hostess, the sequel!
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