All agreed the recent mums' night out had been a success. Alchy and Muffin Top had provided great entertainment by being sick in the wine cooler and wearing a crop top respectively. It was better than the formal entertainment of the night; a George Michael lookalike who looked like himself, Gary from Chelmsford. "Tonight Ladies and Gents, we have Gary from Chelmsford, looking like himself and doing some karaoke!". The trouble with these kinds of nights thought T&W is that you often end up sitting next to someone you don't know and then you realise there's only so much about someone's in-grown toenail you can stomach whilst eating Lamb Kleftika! Still, somethings never change. Pretensia spoke about herself the whole evening, only pausing for breath to rearrange the false pads in her bra. Nude Trude was looking particularly stunning in a dress that was backless and semi-frontless especially when she was dancing to Club Tropicana, where the drinks might be free but so was the sight of her surgically enhanced torpedo breasts.
"Look at the tattoos on her!" mouthed Rude-Rag. She was pointing unsubtly to a 20 stone woman wrapping herself around the leg of Gary from Chelmsford aka George Michael. As Gary sang "I want your sex" to the 20 stone blubber mountain, T&W decided to skip dessert. Gary was then in the mood for "Careless Whisper" and a nerdy 50 year old man (one of only 5 in the building) began to writhe around with Blubber Mountain making T&W wonder if this is what George Michael had envisaged when he wrote this song.
Gary from Chelmsford really seemed to want Blubber Mountain as he proceeded to sing "Fast Love" to her, gesticulating wildly with his hips in a way that made it clear he wasn't talking about true love on an inter-city express. At one point, he seemed to completely lose his head in her cleavage looking like some weird Salvador Dali sculpture. T&W decided she'd had too much wine.
